This project's goal is to give each family member and myself just 10 minutes of unconditional positive regard every day. All attention is focused on the other person for those 10 minutes and only positive comments or thoughts are allowed. Just 10 minutes often becomes much more. Try it and see. You'll find the Just 10 guidelines on the right side of this blog.







Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Fight to Write

Sometimes you don't know what you believe in until you have to fight for it.  Yesterday, I fought to write.  It wasn't a battle I expected to wage.  Writing does take time away from my family.  Lately, I've been terrible about giving each of them their Just 10 minutes a day.  Life has drained me.  I struggle to keep my balance.  I sacrifice what I really believe about education to earn a paycheck.  I sacrifice a lot of time and what I'd rather do for my family every day.  It has to be done.  Yet,  I still need time for me.  Yesterday, I had to fight for it.

Whether or not people read what I write isn't as important as having the chance to write.  The words flow out of me as if they have a life of their own, a life I can only dream of.  My life is not my own.  I'm up at 5 a.m. stealing  moments before the demands of my day begin. 

I invest a lot of time in my family.  I could invest more.  I could increase the quality of that time.   Increasing this quality is what I most want to do.  It's the purpose of Just 10.   My energies could be improved in that regard.   I also want to increase the quality of the time I spend with myself.  Writing could be an complete waste of my time.  I may never do anything with it other than spit blather onto a blog but it is what is important to me.  When I write, I feel like I have something to say.   I write because the words have no place to go.

My immediate family doesn't read what I write.  My daughter says she doesn't understand it.  My husband says, "I'm not as smart as you." 
Hearing that I feel very alone.  Yesterday, while they watched football and America's Funniest Videos, I watched the speeches of MLK and Robert Kennedy.   They felt robbed of my attention.  I just felt robbed.

Sometimes, a person has to take a stand, has to fight for what they believe in, even when no one seems to believe in you, when believing in yourself is all that you have left.

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