Play Again

Friend, Traci sent a link to a film preview posted on Youtube.  It referenced a site and I'm posting the link here.  It's something I needed to see as a parent.  http://www.groundproductions.com/playagain/index.php

My fondest childhood memories are of playing outside on the farm.  Later when we moved into town our back yard still opened up on to fields.  Near us was a still undeveloped woods.  I spent hours upon hours out doors, building forts, tossing cow pies, playing slip and slide in the mud.  Outdoors was a refuge, a place to go when the pressures of being at home were too great.  It was a place to meet friends and sometimes enemies as we pursued a childlike "cowboy justice."  It was a huge backdrop to our games of pretend, imagining ourselves as rulers of field and forest.  My children have a very different relationship with the outdoors.  They rarely get dirty.  My son is afraid of bugs, although fascinated by them.  They haven't really learned how to play outside.

Guess, who needs to show them how, the old mud Queen, herself.  Watch out summer hear we come. I'm taking Just 10 outdoors.  We'll spend time with each other in nature and we'll take time to play.  I'll plan to make one Sunday a month, Adventure Sunday.  Having fun doesn't have to cost a dime.  It doesn't require a controller, a computer, a TVor musical accompaniment.  It does require opportunity, willingness and a creative state of mind.  After all, we are guests on Mother Earth.  It's time to take advantage of her hospitality. Now if I can only convince her to stop raining.

Just Play

In addition to Just 10 time with family members, I also try to find time to just play.  Lately, we've been using the promise of some video game time with mom or dad as a motivator for my son.  When Andrew has completed his morning tasks and is ready for the bus, we play Super Mario Bros.  I bet you can guess who is good at it and who is always dying.

We have to limit his game time so he doesn't overdo it.  So earning game time in the morning is a big deal.  I've also noticed another benefit.  Since he is better at these games than I am, he gets to feel empowered.  He can enjoy the fact that he is better at something than his parents.  That has to feel good to a boy who is easily frustrated by the "glitches" in a normal day.

Andrew's world view is colored by Aspergers and his unique perspective.  Subtle shades of gray and layers of meaning often escape his detection.  A simple glitch, like toothpaste on his shirt or the bus coming two minutes early can elicit a meltdown.  To him it feels like the end of the world.

We see a lot of drama over the little things so we spend a lot of time reframing, helping him see minor problems for what they are.  While I'm helping Andrew, he is also teaching me.  I learn as much or more than he does.  He has taught me patience, perserverance and the importance of thinking outside the box.  As I try and encourage him to be a "flexible thinker" he is making me be one.

What seems like just playing video games is actually a lot more.  He can enjoy his superior game skills when compared to the much older and hopefully a bit wiser, mom.  We're working on perserverance and delaying gratification as we help him earn this special play time.  My having to work so hard to keep my character from dying really helps me empathize with how he must feel when he struggles to do something that is hard for him. 

While we are just having fun, we're also accomplishing a lot more. Some days, Just 10 time can be rather intense.  Taking time to just play is just important.