Risky Words

Image credit goes to my talented daughter

Some days another person can say things so much better than I can.  Today is one of those days.  I'm sharing this poem.  I'm often a lousy risk taker.  It's time to take the leap!

BE A RISK TAKER

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental,
To reach out to another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self,
To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss,
To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
People who risk nothing, do nothing, have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But they cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.
Chained by their inaction, they are slaves who have forfeited freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
(author unknown)

Saying Goodbye

Cliff, Grace, Margaret and Gene

We buried my uncle, Cliff yesterday.    He returned to the earth from which he came.  He loved to garden and created a small garden paradise on his city lot.  He understood the earth, the soil, the seasons.  His life was marked and bounded by his garden.  Near the end, his biggest concern was not being unprepared for death.  He was worried about his garden and how to harvest the fruit and vegetables he had so carefully tended.  He didn't want them to go to waste.

Despite the years between now and then, the family is still drawn together when it's time to say goodbye.  We remember Cliff fondly.  We remember how young and vibrant he was.  We remember the wonderful homemade ice cream he and Aunt Marianne brought to every picnic.  We remember his quiet laugh.  He was a bright star in the constellation of all our lives.  He's gone to join the other stars that have gone before him. 

As we say goodbye, we step closer to our own mortality.  In the faces of relatives, I look through the years to see the faces I remember.  They are hidden underneath layers of time.  We let go of our uncle, our friend, our brother, our father and we let go of the fiction that we will live forever.  We say goodbye and must accept that one day we will join him.    Goodbye, Cliff.    Rest peacefully.  We'll see you soon.

Wordle for Today

This is what was generated when I plugged in my blog URL into the create window on the web site: Wordle.

For a better view of what Wordle actually created for me, just click on the word scramble box above.

Go have some fun.  

Life in Six Words

Yesterday's library trip yielded a wonderful find, a small book filled with six word memoirs called, I Can't Keep My Own Secrets:Six Word Memoirs edited by Smith Magazine.  The intro of the book mentions a story told about Ernest Hemingway.  Hemingway was said to be challenged to write a novel in six words.  He returned with "For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

After reading a few of the memoirs in this tiny book with over 600 authors contributions, I wanted to write my own six word memoir.  It was much harder than I expected.  I was also a lot of fun.  I dare you to try it.  Let me know what you come up with.

I came. I saw. I died.
It was a five dog life.
A Swanson brownie disguised as poo.
A drink of water was everything.
Tightrope walking over the hidden valley.
Slowly, Sister Mary Nobody rides again.
Quiet midnight moon watches me sleep.

The Receiving Project

Discovered just in time for Free Friday. . . The Receiving Project.



Here's what Jo Anna Rothman writes on her FAQ page:

"FAQ

What is The Receiving Project?

The Receiving Project is a free 32 e-course designed to assist you in opening up to receiving all the gifts that are available for you.

What’s so important about receiving?

So many of people are great at giving, but not so hot at receiving. And so many are looking to experience greater abundance, prosperity, wealth, health, love.  When we learn to receive with grace and ease, we are truly able to experience all we want in life!"

There is also a picture of Jo Anna.  Her glasses reminded me of Gru's mother in Despicable Me.

My mind works in mysterious ways.  Any way. . . back to Free Friday. . .


The Receiving Project might seem a little "new agey"  but something free and positive shouldn't be passed up without a second look.

Image Details

Blank Page

Starring at the blank page, my mind is a whirl.  Few words are making it out of the maelstrom alive.

I google "topical Tuesday" looking for inspiration.  The results bore me. 

Topical Tuesday Tip Off -- Connective Tissue
Topical Tuesday: E-mail Snafus Can Happen to You
Topical Tuesday -- Puppy Mills

[Heavy sigh]


I know what I want to write about. .   I want to write about all the things I can not write about.  I want to write about little, insignificant things that become much bigger than they are.

During the dog days of summer, a hose was left on. . .probably a bit more than a trickle but less than a stream.   It slowly seeped into the lawn over a period of days.   It was the unintentional oversight of a young boy.  Nothing could suck the water back into the pipes.  What was done was done.  At least, that was what I believed.  Use it as a teaching moment and move on.

This view was not shared by the other half of the parenting equation.   The air sizzled and cracked with an angry eruption.  I walked away.  At least, I tried to.  Apparently, this issue was still alive.  Today, I was summoned to view a water bill.  "See, that hose left on cost us $40."
I felt annoyed.  I expected the figure to be much higher.  $40 seemed like a bargain.  A bargain we can't afford but we can't afford most things.  I've learned to let go.  It's better than being upset all the time.  I don't need to look for reasons.

"See, that cost us $40.  I knew it would increase the bill," he says again.
I've been home less than 15 minutes.  The dog leaps for my attention and "hello" pet fest.  My daughter is eager to tell me about playing second flute and needing to practice and my husband wants to show me a water bill to justify rage. 
"I'm not sure what you want from me.  Do you want me to rubber stamp your getting upset?  Do you want me to say, 'Your anger was justified?  It was worth upsetting everyone?"
"Do you think it was ok for him to leave the water on?" His voice rises.
"No, I'm not saying that. I'm objecting to getting upset about something that can't be changed.  What is done is done."
I start to feel angry but not about the hose.  I felt angry that I was expected to get angry. 

"Forget it, just forget it."  He throws up his hands and leaves the room.
"I shouldn't have brought it up.  I'm sorry I did."  He is angry, again.
I follow and try to say as calmly as I can, "What reaction were you hoping I'd give you?"
"Forget it" he says again.
But I can not. 

The words and the anger behind them fester inside of me.  I don't want to be angry but I am.  The anger is still fresh as I struggle to write about something other than my frustration.   The words keep circling around the issue.  There is no escape. . . no one to talk to except the blank screen.

Saturday Shimmers

From the Free Dictionary.com:

shim·mer  (shmr)

intr.v. shim·mered, shim·mer·ing, shim·mers

1. To shine with a subdued flickering light.

2. To appear as a wavering or flickering image, as in a reflection on water or through heat waves in air.

n.

A flickering or tremulous light; a glimmer.

---

[Middle English shimeren, from Old English scimerian.]

 

To shine with a subdued flickering light. . . I like the sound of that.  Tremulous also sounds exciting.  I want more shimmering in my life.    When I look at things closely, I want to find a bit of magic.  I want things to be more than they are.  I want subdued light to appear in all the dark corners.   

 

 

 

I recently started reading a new book called:  The Optimism Bias: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain by Tali Sharot.    It's a fascinating, well-written book.  The author explains how optimism is often irrational but an important component in biological survival.  I had to stop reading it. (For those, who don't need to cling to hopeful illusions, I recommend this book highly.)   I was afraid it would affect my ability to see the shimmering.  I was already having a hard time finding it in my life.   If I am to harness the power of optimism, I need to maintain the illusion that it is rational and possible at least once in a while.  

 

To whom do I give the power of determining what is real or unreal, what is rational or irrational?  Scientists look for empirical evidence.  It's a very effective paradigm for the scientific but I find it a bit too confining to apply to the totality of a life, especially to my life.  I need the irrational, the hope of the impossible for those are the very things that lie just beyond the shimmer.   Without the shimmer what remains?

 

It's not rational for children to believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny but it is a lot of fun.  Some of childhood's fondest memories are often rooted in these fantasies, a time when the world contained magic and the impossible was possible.  

 

Years ago in a philosophy class, we read Plato's allegory of the cave. I think of it now.   In the story, Plato describes a group of people who are chained facing a blank wall.  They can not see what is behind them only what is in front.  They watch the shapes of shadows cast on the wall.  The shadows are  illuminated by a fire behind.  The shadows are not reality.  It is the philosopher's job to point out reality.  

I found this confusing.  What made the philosopher so sure that he had the corner market on truth?  Was a philosophical view really more accurate?  Isn't a large part of reality relative?  If I believe that I hear the hooves of Santa's reindeer on my roof, as a child, can a philosopher prove to me that I am mistaken?  Should he/she?  

Today, I sit in a chair facing a blank wall.  On the wall, the shadows flicker and shimmer.  I know that behind me are things I can not see.  But the shimmering light on the wall is enough for today.  I'm not ready to see beyond. . . not just yet.  I'm enjoying the shimmer.