Ribbon Candy

"Excuses Stop Here."  That's what the poster in front of me says.  I stare at it while running my finger tips up and down the metal spine of my spiral notebook.  In the back of my head, the theme from Love Story begins to play, "How do I begin to tell the story. . . "
The opening sentence begins to play in an endless loop.  It folds back on itself.  I see images of the hard ribbon candy we'd find under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning.

I hold the candy up to the light and admire the colorful swirls and folds.  It's too pretty and too hard to eat easily.  Some pieces taste better than others.  Some taste better than they look.  All tease my tongue.  The loops play across the taste buds with a texture that intrigues as it taunts.  Nothing else tastes or teases like this.

This is how my life feels.  My life is like a box of broken ribbon candy.

When I write, I pour these bits and pieces into a clear glass dish and hold it up to the light.  It helps me like what I see.  All the broken bits and pieces form a kaleidoscope of color.  I can pick out flashes of color and subtle hues but the dish with all its pieces forms something beautiful to me.  It is my art.

"How do I begin to tell the story of how great a love can be?"

I pop a piece of ribbon candy in my mouth and ponder the telling of the tale.  As I write this I pause and trace the edges of my lips with a fingertip.  My attempt at definition is futile.  There is much about me and my life that I can not put into words.  I savor the candy.  It starts to cut into my tongue.  Too much of a good or a bad thing isn't helpful.  What will tomorrow bring?

"How do I begin. . . "

. . . to wrap my head around a future that I can not imagine, at least not well?  For years, the need to be prepared trapped me in a prison built of fear.  Now, the walls are dissolving like ribbon candy.  Life gapes before me.  Instead of stepping on something solid, I step out into thin air.  Fear is a luxury I can no longer afford.

"How do I begin. . .?"  Again?"

The sky says, "The same way you've begun before."
Have a piece of candy.
 Life can be a beautiful, sweet ribbon of color that doesn't always taste good.
Some times too much can make you bleed. Yet, all these broken pieces, all the sharp edges and pretty colors are yours. 
You must hold them up to the light and take it all in.
Excuses Stop Here."