This is the face that my fairy of frustration might have. He's been dogging me all day. Most of the day, I was able to ignore him and pretend he wasn't there. But this fairy of frustration is persistent, if he is anything.
He hid just out of sight as I fought against boredom all day long. By the time, I entered the 2 o'clock hour, boredom and the fairy were winning. When I arrive home, I expect to have the house to myself. This is not to be. Eager to soothe my frustrated inner landscape, I sought the comfort of words and a chance to write in this blog. The computer crashes, a glorious, program stifling blaze of magnificent binary chaos. I sit with my head in my hands and just groan.
One eager husband comes to the rescue and hooks up an old computer alternate. It sits beside me now saying "Server not found" while it tries to download an update from this lost server. Meanwhile the first computer coughs up a "lung of filthy pond water" and slowly grinds its way into some semblance of working order.
I try again. Every thing loads slowly. The dog sits on my feet. Translated into human talk, this means she has to go to the bathroom. I call for assistance with that disruption. A happy dog returns minutes later for her praise and "acknowledgment pet fest". Husband disappears into the bowels of the house. Now, I hear him chant a new mantra in the distant bedroom, "crap, crap, crap." I do not ask what inspired his mantra. I don't want to know.
Suddenly, my daughter, home from school, cookie in hand, appears behind me. "What do you need, honey?", I ask her.
"I only have one more problem to do in math on the computer would you mind opening up a window so I can see what it is?"
Again, I groan, "Honey, ordinarily I'd be fine with that but the computer just crashed and is still working slowly. I'm afraid if I stop now, I won't get back to this. Can you wait another 15 minutes or so?"
Thank goodness for her wonderful disposition. She agrees.
The phone rings. I hate the phone and ignore it. Fortunately, I'm the only one in the house who can successfully ignore the phone. The computer next to me still spins in its download from a server that it can not find. I think we have a lot in common.
Today, I wanted to write an inspired piece about time and the intersection of the now in a singular moment. The universe seemed to have other ideas. Now is a hard place to be, let alone write about when it's filled with interruptions, dogs with bathroom needs, the "crap, crap, crap" mantra and a mind whose circuits have now fused into a wad of insane frustration.
The evil fairy of frustration is locked in a maniacal grin. I'm going to put a bag over his head and set an extra place at the dinner table. Looks like he's today's unwanted guest. I hope he enjoys leftovers.
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