Good relationships require constant adjustment and attention. Every time I forget that fact I am surprised at how the foundation I once thought so firm is crumbling beneath my feet. Just 10 helps me keep in touch. Just 10 also keeps me constantly challenged.
I've discovered that the men in my life often respond best to a shared activity instead of a conversation, especially my significant other. You'd think that after all these years, I'd still remember that most males aren't as verbal as most females. They are more action than talk and sometimes shared action opens the door to deeper conversation. It's time I used my female brain and applied clever and creative ways to open that door.
When I announce to my husband that it's time for his Just 10, he usually blinks like a deer in the headlights, awaiting a terrible impact. In other words, he freezes and clams up. Sometimes being so direct is a handicap.
Just now, he wanted to tell to me the results of an experiment on the Discovery Channel's, Mythbusters. I'm obviously doing something else but I stopped and listened. I made eye contact. I let myself be engaged. We connected. He's much more likely to talk with me again if he knows I'll listen. He knows he is more important than the task at hand because I stopped and gave him my attention. It really is the little things that make the biggest difference.
I often avoid giving my husband his Just 10 because I don't want it to feel artificial. I don't want to make him uncomfortable. I want to make him comfortable. I wasn't sure how to make his Just 10 easier for both of us.
Yesterday, I looked at the nice guitar I received as a Christmas present a few years back and it occurred to me that guitar lessons from my husband might be a good way for us to share some time together. He gets to share his superior skill and I just might learn something. It seems that his Just 10 requires some action. It's time to lay the groundwork to a deeper relationship by not just listening and talking but by doing.
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