Once upon a time, three people go for a morning walk. Four, if you count one walker's alter ego, the Evil Queen. But back to our story. One is a 12-year-old girl. The second is a 10-year-old boy and the third is their mother who will soon be 52. (This was not an ordinary Just 10 walk and you'll soon discover why.) The 12-year old girl wants to ride her bike. She soon discovers that the bike seat keeps turning to the right. She pedals ahead, standing up. When she is about a football field away, she stops and waits for the two walkers to reach her. The mother can live with this. It is the boy that makes the walk unpleasant.
Before leaving the house for their walk, the boy decides to outfit himself in full character regalia. The mother guesses that in his mind he is Anakin Skywalker but she is not sure. The light saber is a clue that his mind is hosting a Star Wars adventure this morning but he may not be Anakin. He will soon display some very non-heroic behavior. Mom is confused. The die had been cast when the boy had insisted on wearing a polar fleece-lined vest, long sleeve shirt and long pants. Outside the morning temperature was in the mid-70's. Humidity was high.
The mother tells her son to take off the vest. He whines and insists. She assumes the role of Evil Queen. She sees what will soon occur without need of a crystal ball or evil tell-all mirror. No poison apple or devious spell is needed to teach this child a lesson. Reality will do that on its own. The Evil Queen, voice smooth as silk, purrs a reply, "Ok, wear the vest." She smiles a sinister smile. The walk begins.
Within a very short time, the boy starts to lag behind. Mother is walking at a fast pace. The girl pedals ahead. Behind the boy wilts. At first, he tries running to catch up. He fatigues very quickly. The evil Queen enjoys the irony. A 10-year-old boy can't keep up with his clinically obese, almost 52-year-old, mother. Something seems so wrong with this that the Evil Queen is especially pleased.
She tells the boy to take off his vest. This time, he quickly obeys. He whines, "What am I going to do with it? She proclaims, "You get to carry it. You insisted on wearing it. It is your responsibility." This is the beginning of the end. His spirit is broken and the energy to continue is gone. All three reverse course. The Evil Queen is beginning to get annoyed. The boy has ruined a perfectly good walk. He has also made a Just 10 walk impossible. She had held a flicker of hope that quality time could be found this morning despite the polar-fleece vest and a stubborn boy. Neither, he nor the Evil Queen is in the right mental space to give each other positive attention. The Evil Queen clings to the idea of the lesson. She quizzes the boy, "What would you do differently the next time?" He pants a quick reply laden with pathos, "I'd stay home", he says while sitting on the sidewalk.
The Evil Queen disappears. A sad mom has taken her place. This wasn't really what she wanted. She wanted the boy to say that he wouldn't wear a vest next time. It seems that the Evil Queen was too busy seeking vindication. Maybe if the mom had been in charge and exercised a bit more compassion while still guiding the boy to learn from his choices, well maybe, he would have said, "I'd leave the vest at home." The mother ponders this. The ten-year old boy may not be much of a walker. He is, however, a master at generating a feeling of guilt in those around him. It's a defensive posture. He finds it very difficult to bear the burden of responsibility for his own choices. This is not ideal but it is a part of who he is. It is all part of his Ground Zero. It is the place where the feet hit the trail, the rubber meets the road and the proverbial waste hits the fan. It must be accepted before going on. He is stuck sitting on the trail in a heap of self-pity and disgust. The Evil Queen has been victorious. The mother has learned from the error of the Evil Queen's ways. Mother wants to harness the power of the Evil Queen for the forces of goodness.
Mother knows that tomorrow is another day. Just 10 requires that the Evil Queen be banished from the land. A search party looks for her. She seems to have disappeared, at least for now. Upon returning home, mother tells the boy to take a shower. She says, "It will make you feel better." The tiny guardian of the castle, the wee little dog, greets the three with much affection. The Guardian has spent 30 minutes without their collective presence. It seems like an eternity. The lights of her life have returned. They take turns showering, washing the residue of unpleasantness off each of them in turn. The Evil Queen and the faithful Guardian have taught the mother a lesson. All is not lost. The three walkers, travelers on the trail, have come home. They will try again tomorrow.
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