Cherish Life

Morning's cold hand rudely woke me this morning.  I'd that been dreaming that we lived in a huge old farmhouse with a great lawn, a beautiful garden and huge orchard.  We had a party and we were just bidding the last of the guests good bye.  I was so tired.  I lay down on a white wicker summer couch with wonderfully soft cushions and start to doze.  The last of the party goers leans down and gives me a kiss on the cheek.  I wake, only slightly, to mumble a goodbye and air kiss the check next to mine.  Then, real morning slaps me awake.

I stagger out to the kitchen.  Two children and a dog come rushing toward me.  I feel like a bear who has just awakened from a long winter slumber.  I yawn.  I stretch.  Suddenly, I hear the roar of a freight train.  I look down at my hind paws.  I'm standing on railroad tracks.  There is no time to jump out of the way.  The train named Hyperactive Chaos strikes me.  I caution real bears not to try this.  Real bears can be killed by trains.  Metaphorical trains will leave you dazed and painfully alive.  I  growl a quiet "Good morning." I know better than to fight against my fate.  I pass out hugs and pets accordingly.

After breakfast, I don't want to go for a walk.  I push myself out the door.  Soon a random line pops into my head.  "Cherish the life you have been given because the only way out is through."   I'm not sure I like the sound of this but decide to let it become my walking mantra.  It's too awkward sounding.  It doesn't flow into the rhythm my feet desperately need.  I shorten it to: "Cherish life."  My inner bear snorts but knows the rhythm is right.

My mind wanders.  Apparently, I want to be grumpy this morning.  The words "cherish life" make that difficult.  I reel my mind back in and get it back on track.  It's soon off hiding in the bushes.  "Cherish life, cherish life."  I start to ponder the timing of this phrases appearance.  My daughter and I had just decided  to experiment with vegetarianism.  For phase one, we eat no red meat.  We both object to the horrible way that so many animals are treated in the massive stockyards.  A few large corporations supply most of the nations grocery stores.  The animals are not treated humanely.  So different from the livestock, I'd seen as a child.  Our milk cow was just as much beloved pet as she was a source of milk.  Cattle owned by relatives enjoyed lives in sunny pastures.  They took shelter in roomy barns.  The same was true of hogs, goats and chickens.  They had rather interestingly lives, wandering about pastures or barnyards.  I never saw any one treat them with cruelty or indifference.  "Cherish life" begins to take on new levels of meaning.

It wasn't long and I was hit with a meaning that was very close to the center of my heart.  I remembered dark times in my life when I did not cherish the life I was given.  I remembered moments when I struggled with fatal choices.  In those darkest hours,  I was always stopped by a voice that roared so loudly I was sure that the world heard it.  "Your life is a gift.  It is not yours to end.  Live it."  Often irreverant and rebellious, I knew when I had to obey.  I  cherished my life by not making a fatal choice.  It took time before my heart felt like I'd done the right thing.  My soul was trapped in the dark.  I was chained to a proclamation that I sometimes hated, "Cherish your life.  It is a gift."  Yet, it was these words that saved me.

They save a part of me on a grumpy summer morning.  I've been busy cursing myself out for walking so fast and hard that I made my back hurt.  It telegraphs messages of pain down my legs.  I slow slightly and begin to repeat the tired line that I can not escape, "Cherish life, cherish life, cherish life."  Finally, the walking gets easier.  I forget about my sore back and aching legs.  The dark cloud that hovered round my heart suddenly lifts slightly.  I feel happiness peak out from behind a bush ahead on the trail.  I hear the song of a bird, the rustle of the leaves when touched by the breeze.   I meet two moms pushing strollers.  We all smile and say, hello.  I walk on and finally greet my morning, " Hello life. Today, I'm going to cherish you, whether I like it or not.  Life and everything in it is a gift.  I may not like the wrapping.  I may not always like the present but I need to be respectful to the giver of these gifts.  It's the right thing to do.  The only way out is through. Today I will cherish my life."