God is my Witness

Earlier this week, we took a mini-vacation up to Seattle.  It's time to get back to my Just 10 time.  I'm sort of lost without it.   Our trip was a swan song of sorts, that last fling before the final curtain falls.  We've come back to deal with the reality of being unemployed, eminent foreclosure, and the lovely middle-life crisis' search for purpose and meaning.  Exactly what can I contribute to this world?  I'm a financial quadraplegic without a wheelchair.

In the background of all this worry,  this little clip from Gone with the Wind has been playing in my head.  Yes, I know it's overly dramatic and that Scarlett, herself, sometimes casts morality aside.  Yet, few characters embody determination and downright spunkiness better than Scarlett O'Hara.   I admire her.  I want to be her NOW.  Several days ago, when the starter went out on the van, I felt numb with the shock of yet another problem, a problem that needed money to solve.  Depending on the kindness of family, strangers and the state is not a position, I've ever wanted to find myself, yet, here I am.    I owe them something.  I can't ever really repay the many kindnesses that have been shown to me over the years.  I'm humbled before them.  The least I can do is to continue moving forward, to live as good and as full a life as possible.

While I'm a little numb around the edges and may remain so for some time to come,  I find myself latching on to the hem of Scarlett's skirt.  Like Scarlett, I raise my fist of dirt to the heavens and proclaim, "as God is my witness, I'm not going to let them lick me."  I'll hold off on adding the "cheating, stealing and killing" part.  That might come later.

Right now, I'm determined to find a way to live as cheaply and as happily as possible.  It's time a few of us said,   "Enough."  Human's greed is poisoning the planet.  Our mad consumerism is robbing people of compassion and a sense of satisfaction.  We are not educating our children to be analytical and critical thinkers.  We are raising an ignorant nation.   We race through life alone always in a hurry to get nowhere.  We've lost a sense of responsibility toward others and for ourselves.    We lay waste our power.   We drown our sorrows in a thousand different things but the pain is still there.  We miss the beauty around us. We forget how to have fun.   "Enough.  Enough."

As God is my witness, they aren't going to lick me.  I am determined to make the best of this situation.  I choose to see this as an opportunity.  My life needs a makeover and now is the time.  I'll be damned if I'm going to let all the bad things that have happened defeat me.  "As God is my witness. . ."