Forever Young

We love Napoleon Dynamite. Thanks to the movie, the 80's song, Forever Young plays in my head from time to time. During today's Just 10, I thought about the lyrics and youth. I used to comment that I wish I could go back to high school with what I know now. My wish came true, as true as it could without a time machine. I now walk the halls of high school only this time I'm getting paid to do it. The other great thing about my job is that I'm an advocate and assistant for those kids who think outside the box. Sometimes way outside the box. The students I work with are on the autism spectrum. I'm their advocate, coach, faciliatator and surrogate mom.

These atypical students conjure up memories of my own teenage, angst-ridden years. Adolescence was pure hell for me. As I walk among teens now, I see that this is a rather common experience. Not all are as anxious or frightened as I was but the concern with being accepted absorbs much of their time and energy. Those that say they don't care often care the most. Those who have a hard time fitting often feel a gaping hole of hurt. Their lack of social skills traps them in the mire of human relationships. They don't know it yet but for most of them, their time will come.

When I was a teen, I didn't know that nerdy four-eyed girls have a place in the world. They can learn to like themselves and their glorious "nerdiness." They can reach a state in which they are comfortable in their own bodies, in their own heads. They can and, often do get married, have children and lead the lives the popular kids seemed to take for granted. Dateless wonders are not doomed to a life of loneliness. As teens, the popular, the nerds, the delinquents and the misfits, race through the halls and demand immediate attention and answers, they "scream" that patience is a virtue that the young know not. They suffer from the illusion of knowing it all. Time will show them that they know almost nothing. It is what time has shown me.

Once in a while, I have a moment of envy. I see their young skin and wish I could erase the lines and wrinkles. I see their energy and feel my fatigue. I see them leap and touch the ceiling and wish I had the slightest desire to jump. I, who no longer wish to tie my shoes. Yet, when I consider the worries they carry, the things to which they give so much importance, their awkwardness, their lack of experience, their naivete, I realize that this is their time to be teens. I have already lived through my physical youth. Now is the time for me to allow my mind to become young, to hunger for new knowledge and information without losing what time and experience have given me. This can be a dynamite combination. It is the best of both worlds. On the outside, I am middle-aged but on the inside, I am forever young.