This was made even more challenging when he explained that he was going to ask me to carry his wallet in my purse (His wallet is stuffed and not small or lightweight.)
He didn't because "he knew I'd be mad." I'm not so sure this is true although I'm not very fond of being the domestic pack mule.
I could have jumped on him for his assuming how I'd respond and his back-handed way of trying to lay some of the blame on me, but I hesitated and gave myself 10 seconds before responding. In those 10 seconds, I knew that now was not the time to try and vindicate myself and that he was really just displacing some of his anger on an outside target, me. So I remained calm, and did not take the bait.
He checked with the convention centers' Lost and Found department and nothing had been turned in. As soon as we got back home, he canceled his bank cards and ordered a new license on line. Several hours later, the Lost and Found called him to say his wallet had been found.
We'd been advised by the bank to still cancel everything since sometimes thieves let people have a false sense of security and copy the card numbers before returning. Maybe an honest person found the wallet and simply turned it in. In any case, it was the happiest ending possible. I was so glad to have used 10 seconds to collect my thoughts. I could have done some damage in those 10 seconds and bad feelings could still linger long after this episode's resolution.
Waiting 10 seconds to respond, doesn't come naturally to me but it would seem to be every bit as important or even more so than devoting 10 minutes of unconditional positive regard. I need to remind myself to take 10 seconds before responding especially if I feel angry or flooded with emotion. Ten just might be my magic number.
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