Touch

No marriage is perfect, mine maybe farther than many. Taking Just 10 Minutes for my husband becomes just that much more important for me. Just 10 minutes isn't about changing the other person. It's about meeting them where they are and accepting who they are, especially when who they are may not be all that you wish they were. (That last sentence almost confuses me.)

My husband values displays of physical affection. A gentle touch, hugs, a quick kiss. It helps him feel valued and loved. I am very much the descendant of German immigrants. Being affectionate is something I suppress. I may occasionally feel like spontaneously giving a hug or displaying affection but I rarely do. While I'm not going to be displaying public affection at the mall or anywhere else,for that matter, I can rise to the occasion and communicate in a language my husband understands and values, that of simple touch.

The other afternoon, my to-do lists was calling but I remembered my Just 10 minutes and I stopped what I was doing and took time to just cuddle with my significant other. We both fell into a peaceful sleep and woke up feeling good about the time we spent together, silently communicating our connection by physically resting together.

While I like to think that this impacted him in a positive way (and it probably did) what's most important, is that it impacted me. To connect through touch in a positive way, makes him more human to me, less of an opponent (and sometimes he feels this way to me.) When I let down my defenses and approach him in a caring and human way, I can at least feel good about my efforts to connect. I can lay down my wall of defenses and I can see past the mistakes for which I want to hold him accountable. Maybe, just maybe, in those brief moments when I approach him with an open heart, he can see past my mistakes as well.