New Strategy

One of the challenging things about parenting is that it constantly requires regrouping and coming up with new strategies.  Just when you have tackled a problem successfully a new problem comes to take it's place. 

For example, playing video games with my son in the morning was working as a great motivator.  When it became too great a motivation and the primary focus of the morning, the necessary tasks were neglected.  He lost perspective and was in a terrible mood when we insisted he still complete the morning tasks.  I had to come up with a new strategy, one that didn't use video games as the primary objective. 

So often, I just want to rely on the comfort of routine.  I often resist change because it requires effort.  I forget that change and growth are partners.  Parenting demands growth and change.  Becoming a parent changes your world forever.  It's changed who I am.  It's made me a better person than I was.  This is a process that is often met with resistance on my part. This resistance forces me to come up with new strategies such as the Just 10 project.  It forces me to question my own motives when disciplining my children and ask what is in the interest of the greatest good. 

As I constantly consider what is in my children's best interests, I also have to ask what is in my own.  Mistakes are inevitable.  Mistakes have shown me the beauty and wisdom in the words, "I'm sorry."  Mistakes have taken me to places I didn't want to go.  Mistakes have made me grow as a parent and as a person. 

One of the most important skills my children can acquire is that of resilience.  My son is often severely "happiness challenged."    He forces me to put my own happiness challenged issues aside.  I have to reframe his tragedies and help him to see something other than the dark side.  (Currently, Star Wars analogies are very effective.)  More important than reframing, is modeling the behavior.  I've had to become much more resilient than I ever though I could.  As I struggle with my own challenges and tragedies, I am ever mindful of the eyes that are always watching.  My children learn more from how I face life than they learn from all the words that fall from my mouth.

On these dark rainy mornings that follow days of financial struggles, job searches that have yet to find solutions, the temptation to lie in bed with the blankets over my head is very strong.   My children and my responsibility to them keep me going.  They force me to find the humor in life.  They remind me that happiness is fleeting at best but contentment and satisfaction with a job well done are long lasting.  I've learned what it really means to "seize the day."  

Today is another opportunity to develop new strategies and to re-commit to those that are tried and true.  Andrew and I are going to sit and have Just 10 as we wait for the bus.  It's the start of another good day.