As I start to write this, there has been a incident in the background with water on the bathroom floor. There's yelling and a few tears. Earlier, my post seemed so self-indulgent that I actually felt a bit guilty over all that I gain from Just 10. The ruckus in the background reminded me how easy it is to be critical. (It could just as easily have been me angry, yelling about the mess.) Just 10 is important because everyone needs occasional unconditional positive regard. They especially need it from their loved ones who can often be the most critical and harshest judges.
At the end of my life, I want my children and my husband to remember those Just 10 moments, when they were loved and valued and I want those moments to greatly outweigh those in which I was less than kind or fair, or loving.
Being remembered as a loving parent or wife would certainly be nice for me but what's most important is that my children and my husband (currently Mr. Angry and understandably so) see their goodness reflected back to them in the eyes of someone who cares, someone who can forgive their faults and see the potential within so that they can face the world with a greater confidence and belief in themselves. A little love can do so much and as a mom and wife, I have a responsibility to my family to love them into being better people.
I can't change what they choose to do but when I listen to them for Just 10 without judgment, without criticism, they have an opportunity to experience themselves in a positive way and over time that will make all the difference. I love them despite the yelling, tears and water on the floor. They need time to experience that love and Just 10 does just that.
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