Being is More Important Than Becoming

When I was 21, I entered a Roman Catholic religious order. For almost 3 years I was Sister Carol. During those years, I learned what Charles Dickens meant when he started his Tale of Two Cities with "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

One of my main unconscious motives in joining the Sisters was an attempt to regain my innocence. Even though I was young and naive, life had left me feeling damaged with an old and tired soul. I wanted my Eden on earth. The reality was so different. At times, I felt like I'd stumbled into hell.

Ironically, after all these years, there are still moments when I long for the peace and serenity that I also found there in God's company. In the midst of scandals and injustice, God remained the still point around which everything revolved.

Instead of running from life like I wanted to, I ran straight into life's arms. In the insanity of impossible schedules, exhaustion, sexual advances and depression, I was shown that becoming is not nearly as important as being.

That is still true today. I just keep forgetting. I fill my life with lists of to-dos, obligations and responsibilities and I lose something of myself in the process. When I get caught up in becoming, I forget to be. Being is always more important. So for my Just 10 today, I remembered to be.