When Most Needed

Morose.  It's how my Miscellaneous Monday started.  I felt sorry for myself.   The day was an uphill battle.  I pasted on a happy face but wasn't feeling remotely satisfied much less happy.

Yet, at days end, someones words touched my life in a way I'd never expected.  This person's life, their words were pure gift.  They came when I most needed to hear them . .  . words of comfort, of love, of God and one's place in the universe.

Tuesday suddenly looks a lot brighter.   

Once while still living in Chula Vista, I went to my favorite thrift store with several dollars in my wallet.  I wanted to buy something "new" but had a very limited budget.  Suddenly, a woman, a perfect little stranger spotted me from across a clothing rack and smiled.  It was no ordinary smile.  When she looked at me I felt as if she could see right through me.  It wasn't an unpleasant feeling but certainly an unusual one.  She came over to where I was standing, gently put her hand on my arm and looking into my eyes, she said, "Do you know how much God loves you?"

I smiled back but I didn't really know what to say.  Not many strangers have eyes that look through you, much less smile and say things like, "Do you know how much God loves you?"

I'm not sure what I said.  Hopefully, I said thank you.  She wandered away and left me standing.  Within several seconds, I collected some of my wits and looked for her.  I wanted to ask her, "What made her say that to me?" 
She hadn't spoken to others in the crowded thrift store.  I looked for her but she was gone.  She wasn't on the sidewalk outside or in the parking lot.  She had vanished.

I believe she was flesh and blood but there is a part of me that would accept the fact that she might have been something more.    I've never forgotten this encounter.  It was at a time in life when I desperately needed to be reminded of God's love.  A tiny gray-haired woman came into my life for only a few seconds but she gave me the message I most needed to hear.  I've never forgotten her.  She touched my life in a profound way.

Many years have passed since then.  No one has come up to me in a store and said anything like that in all the years since.   Tonight, I was again touched by a profound encounter. 

Those who know me best, know I'm not comfortable talking about God or religion or even what I believe about those two topics.  I'm a lousy witness.    I'm uncomfortable with public displays of belief.  Liturgical dance  makes me cringe, hearing others speaking in tongues makes me squirm.  I associate a lot of God-talk with mental instability.   The neighbor who talks about God so freely irritates me.  I try to smile politely.  He doesn't seem very grounded in reality.  His doctrine makes me uncomfortable.  It isn't very inclusive.  It attributes much to God that is really religion talking.   Religion and God are two very different things and may not share much in common.

Religion, God, belief, are all subjects that can spark emotion and conflict.  Look at how long the Israelis and Palestinians have been fighting.  I tremble when I think of venturing into this hot bed of conversation.

And, yet. . . God's love touched my life tonight.  Plainly.  Simply.  You can almost see the lightening bolt scar on my soul.