Just Play

In addition to Just 10 time with family members, I also try to find time to just play.  Lately, we've been using the promise of some video game time with mom or dad as a motivator for my son.  When Andrew has completed his morning tasks and is ready for the bus, we play Super Mario Bros.  I bet you can guess who is good at it and who is always dying.

We have to limit his game time so he doesn't overdo it.  So earning game time in the morning is a big deal.  I've also noticed another benefit.  Since he is better at these games than I am, he gets to feel empowered.  He can enjoy the fact that he is better at something than his parents.  That has to feel good to a boy who is easily frustrated by the "glitches" in a normal day.

Andrew's world view is colored by Aspergers and his unique perspective.  Subtle shades of gray and layers of meaning often escape his detection.  A simple glitch, like toothpaste on his shirt or the bus coming two minutes early can elicit a meltdown.  To him it feels like the end of the world.

We see a lot of drama over the little things so we spend a lot of time reframing, helping him see minor problems for what they are.  While I'm helping Andrew, he is also teaching me.  I learn as much or more than he does.  He has taught me patience, perserverance and the importance of thinking outside the box.  As I try and encourage him to be a "flexible thinker" he is making me be one.

What seems like just playing video games is actually a lot more.  He can enjoy his superior game skills when compared to the much older and hopefully a bit wiser, mom.  We're working on perserverance and delaying gratification as we help him earn this special play time.  My having to work so hard to keep my character from dying really helps me empathize with how he must feel when he struggles to do something that is hard for him. 

While we are just having fun, we're also accomplishing a lot more. Some days, Just 10 time can be rather intense.  Taking time to just play is just important.