Coordinating schedules with my daughter for our Just 10 is the hardest. She is busy with school and friends and is also the least likely to ask for her 10 minutes. When she did ask recently, I was determined to make time. Yesterday evening after dinner dishes were done and the kitchen tidy, we sat down together.
She started our time together by giving me a synopsis of her favorite book series, that begins with the book Ever More. At first, I failed to listen well. As I noticed her dirty glasses, I asked her, "Do you know how dirty your glasses are?" I immediately realized that I had broken one of the cardinal rules of Just 10. I'd been critical.
I apologized for the rough start. Asked for a "rewind" and to start again. This time I listed to her lengthy explanations of plot and character and began asking questions to help me focus on what she was telling me.
Soon we entered into areas involving school, her friends and how she copes with the unpleasant. (Those of you who know my daughter know that she tends to be very upbeat and optimistic.) I've always been curious as to what goes on inside her head. Yesterday, she gave me a glimpse of inside her pretty head and I am proud to say she is my daughter.
Our Just 10 soon became a just 30. I got off to a rocky start but realized that I could begin again. It really is important to give my family positive time especially after a day, a week or a month filled with instructions and correction and just plain "chewing them out". If I don't take time to really listen, to let them feel safe and free from judgment or rebuke, I won't really know who they are. My perception changes when I give them Just 10 and I learn that I not only love my family but I really like them too.
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