This project's goal is to give each family member and myself just 10 minutes of unconditional positive regard every day. All attention is focused on the other person for those 10 minutes and only positive comments or thoughts are allowed. Just 10 minutes often becomes much more. Try it and see. You'll find the Just 10 guidelines on the right side of this blog.







Monday, April 19, 2010

Saying No

Today, my Just 10 was spent walking off some frustration.  A brisk walk to work let me uncover why.

Not having enough money to make ends meet is extremely stressful.  So many things that have happened are outside my control.  I struggle with surrendering those things that I can't change and figuring out what actions to take.  Choosing how to spend my time and saying no when necessary is one way for me to take action.  It isn't always easy.

Yesterday, I got an e-mail request regarding a book group a friend and I are starting.  An interested person wanted to call and talk to me.  This isn't a bad request.  I understand being cautious.  The trouble is I absolutely hate talking on the telephone and I had disclosed what I was comfortable disclosing in previous e-mails.   Yes, this may be a bit peculiar, but it's me.  So I said, "no."  This wasn't an answer she wanted and she concluded it must be a scam and/or I was an extremely negative person.

Sometimes setting boundaries results in judgment by others.  It was important for me to say, "no" to be in charge of my time.  Just 10 is really helping me see how valuable my time is and how important it is to spend my time wisely.  Reassuring a stranger didn't make it on my list of priorities.  I can never remove the risk she would take in joining a group of strangers.  We all face the unknown.  My words on the telephone could never prove who I am.  It wasn't wrong of her to ask but I don't think it was wrong of me to say no either.

The first book we'll be reading is called Fearless Living by Rhonda Britten.  I didn't miss the irony of this experience against the title of the book.  After my Just 10, I felt at peace with my no, even though a cautious woman did not.

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