Today, my husband and Ispent our Just 10 on a walk. He didn't talk much. I talked general information but little substance. For the most part we just walked together. I realized that Just 10 with my husband isn't always about what we say or what we hear, it's more about who we are and simply choosing to be together.
Several years ago, I had a so-called friend write an e-mail to her sister in which she stated that I was "married to a loser." I "accidentally" received this e-mail when the sister replied and somehow cc'd me. I think the comment would have stung less if it had been about me. Yes, from the outside, I see why someone might come to that conclusion. My husband is frightfully underemployed. He hasn't been able to really provide for his family since 2005. By some standards that would make him a loser. I made a commitment for "better and for worse, for richer and for poorer." Every day I make the choice to stand by him and to walk with him on a path that is often rough and unforgiving.
I am free to leave at any time. I can survive on my own. He can survive on his own. I stay because I choose to remain, because for me at this moment, it is the right thing to do. Sometimes doing what we believe to be right will be criticized and judged harshly by others.
The friend that believes my husband is a loser is no longer a friend. It was not a relationship that was worth saving. I made the choice to end it. She was not a supportive or kind presence in my life and I had held on to the relationship too long out of habit. When I did share time with this friend, I always felt on guard. She was often critical. I'd failed to listen to my heart. Being with her hadn't felt right but I attributed that to my own insecurities. I now know that my insecurities we never the problem.
I chose to spend much of my Just 10 with my husband in peaceful silence this morning. It felt like the right thing for me to do. We are who we are, flawed and imperfect, and today we walk together.
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