Just 10 how-tos are simple. Here are a few guidelines that work for me.
It requires 10 minutes of free time.
Your full attention is on the other person.
Free yourself from distractions. Turn off the tv, radio, etc. Let the phone got to voice mail or turn it off.
(When our dog comes to join us, we don't pick her up. She can have her own Just 10 another time.)
Listening is more important than talking.
Listen with your whole body.
Any thing you say must be positive and display unconditional regard. No criticizing, lecturing, teaching, admonishing, or correcting is allowed.
Just 10 time is comfortable, relaxed time. Let yourself relax.
Don't force the other person to talk or share with you. It will happen naturally when they know they have your full attention and a receptive spirit.
Spending Just 10 in silence isn't a bad thing and it may happen from time to time or at various times during Just 10. Silences can convey things that words can not. Don't be afraid of being still.
When I sit down with my family members, we usually sit on the ends of the couch and face each other. Sometimes we put our feet up and share a blanket. We often enjoy gentle silences and I don't pressure them to talk. They always know they have my attention and the words come easily and quickly when they have something they want to share.
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