This project's goal is to give each family member and myself just 10 minutes of unconditional positive regard every day. All attention is focused on the other person for those 10 minutes and only positive comments or thoughts are allowed. Just 10 minutes often becomes much more. Try it and see. You'll find the Just 10 guidelines on the right side of this blog.







Thursday, April 15, 2010

Manifest Your Destiny or Magical Thinking?

Yesterday, a friend gave me a pep talk.  She felt that my strategy of expecting nothing was fulfilled by nothing.  I countered with "expecting nothing makes everything a wonderful surprise."  She didn't buy that but I did and still do.

That same day I had one of my shower inspirations.  Still half-asleep and slowly waking in the shower, I thought a quick prayer:  "God, please send us a miracle."  The answer in my head, heard loud and clear was "You are the miracle."  Of course, my first impulse is to argue and deny this but again, I heard, "No, you and everyone else are miracles but very few people ever realize it and start living to their potential."  So during my private Just 10, I pondered these two events.

While  "you are the miracle, "   remains unclear and undefined, it seems a more helpful frame of mind then expecting what you think should happen to happen.  I've tried that and life has knocked it right out of me.  You can't manifest your destiny by expecting specific things or events to occur.  Hoping is great but expecting, no.

One of the main lessons my life has taught me is that, I'm not in charge and I don't have to be.  Expecting something specific and then not getting it seems to me to be an error in thinking, a type of magical thinking that opens a door to heartache and bitterness.

Life is a wonderful, terrible adventure.  Bad things will happen to me, things I don't deserve, things that aren't a result of my not manifesting my destiny by thinking things into being.  I don't have that kind of power.

I am a miracle and life for all it's good an bad will unfold before me.  My job is to rise to the occasion, to survive the struggle, not broken or bitter but stronger and full of compassion and conviction.  My job is to find the miracle in all the broken pieces and not lose hope and never lose the capacity to love.

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