I Had a Dream

The other night I had a dream  that I was profoundly sad and had lost the will to speak.  In the dream, I tried to run away but I soon discovered that I couldn't run from the sadness or myself.  During my Just 10, I knew that I had to honestly face the fact that there are many aspects of our current situation that leave me with a deep sadness.

The same day,during my son's Just 10, we had to confront his own sadness about the possibility of losing the house.  This is a boy who needs routine and predictability.  I had to admit that I don't have any definite answers and in doing so felt a piece of my own heart break for him.  My son often has a hard time managing his sadness.  Looking toward the positive doesn't come easily.

I found myself talking about how it's ok to feel sad.   It's still very important not to let the Sad Monster that lives inside us to escape and start capturing all the happy feelings.  Yes, it's a simplistic idea, almost Dr. Suessian, but it made sense to both of us.  The inner Sad Monster has it's own cave and we can sometimes come to it and talk but we need to make it clear that he can't go gobbling up everything because he's hungry.
If we fail to feed him, he can't grow.


In the past, that Sad Monster ate huge chunks of my life.  He was on a wild rampage and left so much destruction in his wake.   There are still days when it would be very easy to let him loose but I am slowly learning that I can accept that he lives in a cave inside me.  Sometimes, I can sit outside that cave and talk to him or just sit and feel sad.  Then I can walk away and go back to the rest of my life.  I can't make him disappear.  In learning to sit with him, I learn from him and the happiness that life also brings is all the more sweet because of my Sad Monster.